The Roommate Inside Our Heads: Unmasking Our Inner Voice
Imagine living with an uninvited roommate who talks to you constantly, commenting on everything around you—except this roommate lives inside your head. We often go through our day without paying attention to that little voice, letting them live rent-free. They always have something to say, and sometimes those comments can be really negative. We tune them out, but we can never completely ignore them.
The Ripple Effects of Having a Judgmental Roommate
Have you ever walked in public and heard your inner voice say something awful about someone else? Maybe, “That person is so ugly,” or “They look so weird dressed like that; who would wear that?” Many of us have experienced these judgmental thoughts, often without paying much attention to them. However, these seemingly harmless thoughts reveal a lot about how we view ourselves.
When my mental health was at its lowest, my inner voice was the most negative, consistently making harsh remarks about others that I’d never say out loud. These thoughts not only shaped my perception of people but also affected how I saw myself. It wasn’t until I became mindful of these thoughts that I realized I thought the same awful things about myself, sometimes being even more negative.
I began to understand that being judgmental of others ultimately led to self-judgment. My inner roommate—a relentless perfectionist—would constantly shame me for not being perfect, shaping my reality with critical self-doubt. This internal battle left me struggling to please both my inner roommate and those around me.
The Roommate’s Shift: Viewing Strangers Through a New Lens
In my quest for personal revolution, I decided that change had to be made after I began being mindful of my thoughts. I read a lot about self affirmations and meditation, but I knew that chanting affirmations in my mirror wasn’t a practice that resonated with me.
I did know, though, that I tended to care more about other people than myself, so I decided to start by changing my view of strangers.
Through conscious effort, I shifted my perspective by changing the way I thought about people. If I walked past someone in public, I would find something to love about them, rather than something to hate. Instead of focusing on negative aspects, I chose to find something admirable about them.
The Roommate’s Shift: Viewing Strangers Through a New Lens
Norman Vincent Peale once wrote, “Change your thoughts and you change your world.” As cheesy as this quote sounds, it is true. When I changed my inner voice from always sounding negative to aiming to find the positive aspects in people and situations, my world changed. Life became much more positive, and so did my thoughts. I no longer had the same awful narratives about myself as I once did, and a positive narrative began to emerge in my mind.
It wasn’t just me that noticed the change. Other people in my life started to make comments about me seeming happier, and this was less than a year after I hit my mental health rock bottom. My life started to transform drastically for me, thanks to this shift towards positivity. I began to feel connected to everyone around me, instead of disconnected. Rather than focusing on negative aspects, I chose to find something admirable in the people I encountered.
I was someone who considered himself socially awkward and socially anxious, thinking I was not charismatic at all. However, once I made this change in mindset, it quickly became apparent that I had built this narrative from negative self-talk. People around me started saying how outgoing I was and that I had become charismatic.
Positive self-talk transformed my entire reality. I gained a clearer understanding of what I wanted in life and prioritized my own needs. I began exploring new opportunities, taking more risks, and building the confidence to create this website and post more on social media—something that would have terrified me just a few years ago. I used to post only one photo a year on social media because I didn’t want people to see me. Now, I seek visibility and a platform to share my voice because I feel like I have something worth saying. Now I feel worth something, and it all stems from the narrative that I created with my inner voice.
Living with a Kinder Roommate: The Power of Positive Inner Dialogue
The journey from being my own worst critic to becoming my biggest supporter wasn’t easy, but the transformation, it brought about was life-changing. By recognizing the power of my inner voice and actively shifting my self-talk from negative to positive, I discovered a new sense of self-worth and confidence.
Through this process, I’ve learned that the way we talk to ourselves and others can truly shape our experiences and interactions with the world. I encourage you to reflect on your own inner voice and remember to speak kindly to both yourself and others.
Embrace positivity, and watch as it transforms your life for the best. If you’re looking to take that first step towards reshaping your inner voice and self-talk, I offer free consultations where we can discuss your goals and develop a plan tailored to your unique needs. Don’t hesitate to reach out—I’m here to help!